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The End of the Kajigger
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The End of the Kajigger
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{{Infobox Goal | image=Goal Hattie McDoogal.png | story_type=Character | event=Lrrr Strikes Back | goal_number= | previous_goal=Hattie in Hand | next_goal= | next_side_goal1= | next_side_goal2= }} {{Goal Parts | part_number=1 | description=Hattie writes a will. | action1=Hattie McDoogal, Do Intensive Research | action2=Bachelor Fry, Prepare for the End of Days | rewards_currency=50 weed | rewards_xp=75 }} === Story === {{Dialogue|hattie| This universe is going to hell in a handbasket! I've decided to cut my losses and move whatchacallit. On.}} {{Dialogue|fry| Hattie, no! You can't kill yourself! What will become of the tenants in your apartment building?}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Half of them are frozen in Hypnowaves, and the other half are late with the rent. Kajigger 'em all!}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Screw.}} ---- {{Dialogue|hattie| I looked up how to write a will and I left all my money to my cats.}} {{Dialogue|fry| How'd you get past the "being of sound mind and body" part?}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Asterisks and footnotes, smartass! }} {{Goal Parts |part_number=2 | description=Hattie looks for a cat sitter. | action1=Hattie McDoogal, Find a Cat Sitter | action2=The Professor, Measure Pet Dander | rewards_currency=50 weed | rewards_xp=75 }} === Story === {{Dialogue|amy| Hey, Hattie, I heard you're thinking of going all "Thirteen Reasons Why" on us.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Damn right, missy. Will you take care of my cats after I'm gone?}} {{Dialogue|amy| Er... I'd like to, but I'm afraid my apartment building has a no-pets policy.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| A no-WHAT whosit? Is there NO shred of decency left in this world?!}} ---- {{Dialogue|amy| Are you feeling any better now, Hattie?}} {{Dialogue|hattie| I'm sorry I flew off the handle there, Chinese Martian lady. It's just -- I don't want to live anymore, but I can't leave my cats to fend for themselves. [SNIFF]}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Most of 'em have never held a job in their lives.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Emmeline gets a pension from when she was Assistant District Attorney, but the rest would be helpless without me.}} {{Goal Parts | part_number=3 | description=Hattie spends quality time. | action1=Hattie McDoogal, Play With Her Cats | action2=Bender, Show Apathy | rewards_currency=50 weed | rewards_xp=75 }} === Story === {{Dialogue|hattie| You! Robot-man! Will you take care of several dozen cats after I end it all?}} {{Dialogue|bender| Cats, eh? If I recall correctly, those belong to the family of crap-producing mammals.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Shut your mouth! That's how they show their whatchacallit! Love!}} {{Dialogue|bender| If that's true of all mammals, I need to reevaluate my relationship with Fry.}} ---- {{Dialogue|bender| Look, lady, I don't care if you're offing yourself. There's no way I'm taking care of a couple dozen furballs.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Figuers. Your appartment building probably wouldn't have allowed 'em anyhow.}} {{Dialogue|bender| You mean if I kept your cats I'd be breaking the rules?}} {{Dialogue|bender| Now you're talking. Give 'em here!}} {{Goal Parts | part_number=4 | description=Hattie plans a trip. | action1=Hattie McDoogal, Drive a Kajigger | action2=The Professor, Buy Scrap Parts | rewards_currency=50 weed | rewards_xp=75 }} === Story === {{Dialogue|hattie| There's just one last thing I promised myself I'd do before I killed myself: visit Branson, Missouri.}} {{Dialogue|professor| Oh, you'll love it there. Every dinner buffet is all-you-can-eat, discounted for seniors, and over by 6:15pm.}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Really? Maybe I should wait and go there after I die!}} ---- {{Dialogue|hattie| I just rode one of them hovering kajiggers to Branson, Missouri and back.}} {{Dialogue|fry| Did you like it?}} {{Dialogue|hattie| Like it? It gave me something to live for! It turns out this beautiful land is full of third-rate resort cities with fourth-rate entertainment! Branson... Laughlin, Nevada... Pigeon Forge, Tennessee...}} {{Dialogue|hattie| And then I can start all over again at the beginning!}} ==See also== *[[Goals]]
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