Snail Fail
Goal Snail Fail.png
Story type
Main Goal
Island of Lost Bots
Next Goal
Come Slither

Snail Fail is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the first main goal of the Island of Lost Bots event.

Part 1


Bender smuggles some snails.




Icon Character Fry.png Um, Bender, I don't want to worry me, but you seem to have snails crawling all over you.

Icon Character Bender.png Yep. I spent the weekend on a tropical island planet. Little buggers must've hitched a ride in my chest compartment, because I'm so great.

Icon Character Fry.png Okay, but be careful. What if they escape into the wild and cause some kind of environmental catastrophe like I'm always seeing movies about?

Icon Character Bender.png Relax. There's absolutely no chance that's gonna happen.

Icon Character Bender.png Because it already did.

Icon Character The Professor.png Bender, you idiot! You smuggled non-native snails across planetary lines, and now they're sliming up the entire city!

Icon Character Bender.png Don't blame me!

Icon Character The Professor.png But you're completely responsible! Why shouldn't I blame you?

Icon Character Bender.png Because it's a waste of time. I've never taken responsibility for anything, and if I ever do, I promise you it's not going to involve snails.

Part 2


The Professor has an idea.




Icon Character Fry.png Professor, help! I was relaxing in the park when I was attacked by a horde of those alien snails! I tried to run away, but I was asleep.

Icon Character Fry.png When I woke up, I was covered in snail goop and my skin was dissolving! Fortunately I licked it off before it did much damage.

Icon Character The Professor.png Just as I feared. The snails are reacting to the hostile Earth environment by turning hostile themselves!

Icon Character The Professor.png There's too many of them to destroy. We'll have to fool them into thinking they're in their natural habitat by decorating the city with fixtures from their homeworld.

Icon Character Fry.png That's the dumbest idea I ever heard! And that's coming from a guy who once licked corrosive snail goop off his own body!

Icon Character Fry.png You know that planet where you spent your tropical island getaway? The Professor says we have to go there and bring back the tropical island stuff.

Icon Character Bender.png I'm not going back there to do work stuff! It's called a tropical island getaway for a reason!

Icon Character Bender.png The reason is, I had to get away fast before the tropical island cops caught me.

Part 3


Bender considers skipping town.




Icon Character The Professor.png Bender, why aren't you helping make New New York a tropical island paradise?

Icon Character Bender.png I don't have time. I'm taking another vacation, to a place where you and your precious technology can't strip the land of its natural beauty, because it doesn't have any.

Icon Character The Professor.png Uh-huh. What exit?

Icon Character The Professor.png What happened to your Jersey vacation?

Icon Character Bender.png I decided to be selfless for once and help you fetch tropical stuff to decorate New New York.

Icon Character The Professor.png Did you really decide to be selfless, or is it because I put a stop on your paycheck?

Icon Character Bender.png It has nothing to do with the stupid stop on my stupid paycheck, which is stupid, by the way.

Part 4


Bender and Fry visit an island getaway.




Icon Character Bender.png Hey Fry! Wanna vacation on the tropical island planet? You can load the ship with palm trees while I sip on a coconut!

Icon Character Fry.png That doesn't sound like a vacation. It sounds like work!

Icon Character Bender.png That's because in the 31st Century, we've redefined the word "work" to mean "sipping coconuts on the beach". And "vacation" means "doing manual labor while your robot pal cheers you on".

Icon Character Fry.png You mean I've been on vacation ever since I came to the future?

Icon Character Bender.png Yep. And as long as I'm your pal, you'll never work a day in your life.

Icon Character Fry.png Wow, this tropical island planet place is beautiful! But maybe you shouldn't be throwing your beer bottles everywhere.

Icon Character Bender.png No, see, the only way I could get permission to take their trees and stuff was by saying it's part of a cultural exchange program with New New York.

Icon Character Bender.png So basically we have to make this place look like a dump.

Icon Character Bender.png Which reminds me -- if you could find a mattress, urinate on it and leave it on the sidewalk, it'd be a big help.

Icon Character Fry.png Already taken care of, my friend.

Part 5


Amy blames Bender for the snails.




Icon Character Amy.png Thanks to you, I had to cancel a date with Kif to help get rid of those stupid rampaging snails!

Icon Character Bender.png Isn't Kif some kind of snail himself?

Icon Character Amy.png For your information, he's not a mollusc, he's more of an amphibian.

Icon Character Bender.png Huh. Funny, I thought amphibians had skeletons.

Icon Character Amy.png ... You're right! Snail-boy's got some explaining to do!

Icon Character Amy.png Tell me the truth, Kif: Are you a mollusc or an amphibian?

Icon Character Kif.png Umm... that is...

Icon Character Kif.png I'm sorry, Amy! Yes, I'm a mollusc, but DOOP had an official no-invertebrate policy, so I had to pass as an amphibian! I've been living a lie!

Icon Character Amy.png But your homeworld is called Amphibios 9!

Icon Character Kif.png The lie I've been living is a really huge lie!

Part 6


Professor makes fun of Bender.




Icon Character The Professor.png Everyone look at Bender, the robot who caused the New New York snail infestation! Shame, Bender, shame!

Icon Character Bender.png Like you're one to talk. You caused the Hypnowaves!

Icon Character The Professor.png That crisis was so 3017. Snails are the sexy new 3018 crisis!

Icon Character Bender.png Oh, well, as long as it's sexy, I'll take full credit.

Icon Character The Professor.png Why did you take that vacation to the tropical island planet in the first place?

Icon Character Bender.png I deserved it! You kept assigning me delivery work and maintenance chores!

Icon Character The Professor.png But you didn't do them!

Icon Character Bender.png Damn right! And after the grueling effort it took to shirk my responsibilities I needed a vacation!

Part 7


The snails prevail.




Icon Character Fry.png Turning New New York into a tropical paradise seems to have calmed the snails down. Now you just have to figure out how to get rid of them.

Icon Character Bender.png And how do you suggest I do that? Wear some snail cologne and make myself irresistible to snails so all the snails crawl into my chest and I fly them back to the tropical island planet?

Icon Character Fry.png Yeah, that might work.

Icon Character Bender.png Great. Every time I think I'm out of the cologne-designing business, they keep PULLING ME BACK IN!

Icon Character Bender.png Thanks to me, the snail problem has now been solved!

Icon Character Scruffy.png Scruffy's gonna miss them little gastropods. Their corrosive goop was the only thing I ever found that could clean the rust stains out the terlet.

Icon Character Bender.png Well, I guess we'll all miss them in our own way.

Icon Character Scruffy.png No, you'll all be missing 'em my way a week from now when you check your terlets.

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