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File:FreeWaterfallJr Goal.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Lrrr Strikes Back


Part 1

Description

Free Waterfall Jr. comes back to life.

Objectives

  • Have Live Freely ()
  • Have Look Up the Life-Death Continuum ()

Rewards

 75 XP

  • 50 Weed

Story

The Professor Whuh?!! Aren't you Free Waterfall Jr., the annoying hippie? I thought you died years ago, when Lrrr ate you on TV!

Waterfall Jr.: Right on, old man. Lemme tell you, the afterlife sucks. Everything's perfect, so there's nothing to march around and protest about.

The Professor But how could you possibly be alive again? This calls for some research!

Waterfall Jr.: Research? Look, I'm as curious as you are, but if your research is funded by military money, I'm gonna need some posterboard, a stick, and a nice clear marching area.

Waterfall Jr.: It's good to be back.


The Professor I figured out why you're alive! The Hypnowave catastrophe seems to have caused a rift in the boundary between life and death -- just large enough for you to squeeze through!

The Professor You're like a filth-encrusted Jesus!

Waterfall Jr.: Freaky! It's like a sign the universe still needs me to cure all its problems!

The Professor I really think it's more of an accidental--

Waterfall Jr.: Hang tight, universe! I'm rededicating myself to saving you through non-stop, socially conscious mindfulness!


Part 2

Description

Free Waterfall Jr. does some yoga.

Objectives

  • Have Stretch Out ()
  • Have Do a Pose ()

Rewards

 75 XP

  • 50 Weed

Story

Waterfall Jr.: I'm on a week-long crusade to reform everything. Step one: free your mind and the rest will follow. So I'm declaring a giant universe-wide yoga pose-a-thon.

Amy I'm in, but that still leaves several trillion other sentient beings. How are you planning to get them to pose?

Waterfall Jr.: Wtih peaceful, loving power of continuous megaphone-assisted badgering.


URL I'm'a have to shut your little yoga party down, hippie.

Waterfall Jr.: Fuzz off, fuzz! I got a permit to hold an outdoor assembly.

URL Yeah, but you're also running an unlicensed yoga studio. That's a class-five misdemeanor.

URL Class-five refers to the number of beatings I'm allowed to administer. Aw yeah.


Part 3

Description

Free Waterfall Jr. smokes in protest.

Objectives

  • Have Smoke and Toke ()
  • Have Beat Perps Senseless ()

Rewards

 75 XP

  • 50 Weed

Story

Waterfall Jr.: Violence is not the answer, pig. Come on, join me in celebrating peace and love by lighting up in public.

URL I'd like to, man, but I'm on duty.

Waterfall Jr.: The stuff I'm proposing we light up is not illegal in this jurisdiction.

URL Yeah, but I got work to do. Department issued me ten confessions, and if I don't find people to sign 'em by five o'clock, they gonna suspend my break room privileges.


URL Shift's almost over and I got two confessions left. Help an officer out by copping to burglary, my scummy hippie brother?

Waterfall Jr.: What are you gonna do, pug? Beat me 'til I sign?

URL Naw, man, I plan to keep beating you for awhile after that.

Waterfall Jr.: Aren't you forgetting that cop camera on your visor?

URL That ain't official, that's my personal camera. So I can relive my beatings after hours at home. Aw yeah.


Part 4

Description

Free Waterfall Jr. goes against the police.

Objectives

  • Have Fight Police Brutality ()
  • Have Show Apathy ()

Rewards

 75 XP

  • 50 Weed

Story

Waterfall Jr.: End fuzz brutality! Dismantle the police state now!

Bender Nobody wants fewer police than I do, but I just don't care enough to chant along with you.

Waterfall Jr.: Hey, man, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Bender That's exactly where I want to be.


Waterfall Jr.: Hey, man, are you sick and tired of police brutality? If you are, please sign my petition.

Scruffy We need MORE police brutality. Planet's under attack from undocumented immigrant gang monsters. Can't hardly go out at night without gettin' murdered two or three times.

Waterfall Jr.: Really? That's terrible!... Do you have any evidence for that?

Scruffy Mm-hm. Gut instinct and provably false campaign speeches.


Part 5

Description

Free Waterfall Jr. does not eat meat.

Objectives

  • Have Protest Animal Rights ()

Rewards

Waterfall Jr.: No more experiments! No more cages! Meat is murder!

Bender As a mighty robot, I don't need to eat meat.

Waterfall Jr.: Right on, Bender! Vegans forever!

Bender Yeah, I only do it 'cause it's fun.



See also

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