Slacktivism | |
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File:FreeWaterfallJr Goal.png | |
Details | |
Story type |
Character Goal |
Event |
Lrrr Strikes Back |
Part 1
Description
- Free Waterfall Jr. comes back to life.
Objectives
- Have Live Freely ()
- Have Look Up the Life-Death Continuum ()
Rewards
- 50 Weed
Story
Whuh?!! Aren't you Free Waterfall Jr., the annoying hippie? I thought you died years ago, when Lrrr ate you on TV!
Waterfall Jr.: Right on, old man. Lemme tell you, the afterlife sucks. Everything's perfect, so there's nothing to march around and protest about.
But how could you possibly be alive again? This calls for some research!
Waterfall Jr.: Research? Look, I'm as curious as you are, but if your research is funded by military money, I'm gonna need some posterboard, a stick, and a nice clear marching area.
Waterfall Jr.: It's good to be back.
I figured out why you're alive! The Hypnowave catastrophe seems to have caused a rift in the boundary between life and death -- just large enough for you to squeeze through!
You're like a filth-encrusted Jesus!
Waterfall Jr.: Freaky! It's like a sign the universe still needs me to cure all its problems!
I really think it's more of an accidental--
Waterfall Jr.: Hang tight, universe! I'm rededicating myself to saving you through non-stop, socially conscious mindfulness!
Part 2
Description
- Free Waterfall Jr. does some yoga.
Objectives
- Have Stretch Out ()
- Have Do a Pose ()
Rewards
- 50 Weed
Story
Waterfall Jr.: I'm on a week-long crusade to reform everything. Step one: free your mind and the rest will follow. So I'm declaring a giant universe-wide yoga pose-a-thon.
I'm in, but that still leaves several trillion other sentient beings. How are you planning to get them to pose?
Waterfall Jr.: Wtih peaceful, loving power of continuous megaphone-assisted badgering.
I'm'a have to shut your little yoga party down, hippie.
Waterfall Jr.: Fuzz off, fuzz! I got a permit to hold an outdoor assembly.
Yeah, but you're also running an unlicensed yoga studio. That's a class-five misdemeanor.
Class-five refers to the number of beatings I'm allowed to administer. Aw yeah.
Part 3
Description
- Free Waterfall Jr. smokes in protest.
Objectives
- Have Smoke and Toke ()
- Have Beat Perps Senseless ()
Rewards
- 50 Weed
Story
Waterfall Jr.: Violence is not the answer, pig. Come on, join me in celebrating peace and love by lighting up in public.
I'd like to, man, but I'm on duty.
Waterfall Jr.: The stuff I'm proposing we light up is not illegal in this jurisdiction.
Yeah, but I got work to do. Department issued me ten confessions, and if I don't find people to sign 'em by five o'clock, they gonna suspend my break room privileges.
Shift's almost over and I got two confessions left. Help an officer out by copping to burglary, my scummy hippie brother?
Waterfall Jr.: What are you gonna do, pug? Beat me 'til I sign?
Naw, man, I plan to keep beating you for awhile after that.
Waterfall Jr.: Aren't you forgetting that cop camera on your visor?
That ain't official, that's my personal camera. So I can relive my beatings after hours at home. Aw yeah.
Part 4
Description
- Free Waterfall Jr. goes against the police.
Objectives
- Have Fight Police Brutality ()
- Have Show Apathy ()
Rewards
Story
Waterfall Jr.: End fuzz brutality! Dismantle the police state now!
Nobody wants fewer police than I do, but I just don't care enough to chant along with you.
Waterfall Jr.: Hey, man, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
That's exactly where I want to be.