Sharp as a Knife
Icon Character Roberto.png
Story type
Character Goal
Robot Hell On Earth
Previous Goal
Don't Call Him Crazy

Sharp as a Knife is one of the character goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1


Roberto is on the radar.


  • Have Roberto Fill Up His Money Bags (9h 0m 0s)
  • Have URL Keep the Peace (4h 0m 0s)



Icon Character URL.png If it ain't my old criminally insane friend Roberto. How money times have we run you in and executed you now?

Icon Character Roberto.png I lost count after one. Guess I'm like a bad penny -- I keep stabbin' people! A sharp bad penny.

Icon Character Roberto.png So, you wanna arrest me now, or wait 'til I do something crazy?

Icon Character URL.png Shift's almost over. Take a walk around the block, then do whatever the hell you want.

Icon Character URL.png Aw, Roberto! If you gotta stab, can you do it in a different precinct? A dead body means a whole night of paperwork for me.

Icon Character Roberto.png But my psychotic episodes are much more vivid in this precinct.

Icon Character Roberto.png When I go crazy in the financial district, all I wanna do is buy uncovered options contracts.

Icon Character URL.png [SIGH] At least help me dump the body somewhere else. I didn't become a cop just to do homework.

Icon Character Roberto.png Body-dumpin'? Let's go, man! That's like stabbin' without the repetitive arm motions!

Part 2


Roberto looks for his next victim.




Icon Character Roberto.png Okay, Gypsy lady, I paid you good stolen money. Now tell me who I'm gonna stab tonight.

Icon Character Gypsy Robot.png Your next victim will be your own senses of pity and compassion.

Icon Character Roberto.png I stabbed them dudes a long time ago! Okay, who do I gotta stab to get my money back?

Icon Character Gypsy Robot.png Umm... my service technician. His name is on the label on the cash box.

Icon Character Roberto.png Hey -- I guess this is a lot like pimpin'!

Icon Character Gypsy Robot.png Yes, except that, rather than having sex with you or anybody else, I foretell horrifying futures.

Icon Character Gypsy Robot.png In fact, here's one now: try and smack me around and I swear, I'll fall over on you.

Part 3


Roberto finds Bender.




Icon Character Roberto.png Bender? You're a ghost now? I don't remember stabbing you.

Icon Outfit Ghost Bender.png The Robot Devil did this to me. I'm trying to get it undone.

Icon Character Roberto.png Robot Devil? That's crazy talk!

Icon Character Roberto.png So I understand you perfectly.

Icon Outfit Ghost Bender.png Have you ever thought about maybe not stabbing everyone all the time?

Icon Character Roberto.png What kind of question is that?

Icon Outfit Ghost Bender.png It's a desperate attempt to keep you from getting excited.

Icon Character Roberto.png Oh, I got meds that keep me from gettin' excited!

Icon Character Roberto.png But you're a ghost, so I don't see how I'm gonna get you to take 'em.

Part 4


Roberto is on the loose.


  • Have Roberto Rob the Joint (3h 0m 0s)



Icon Character URL.png I gotta take you in, Roberto. There's been an outbreak of stabbings on my watch. A outbreak's defined as anywhere between 20 and 30.

Icon Character Roberto.png But I stabbed 55 people!

Icon Character URL.png Oh, 55 is a rash of stabbings. That's much better.

Icon Character Roberto.png What difference does it make?

Icon Character URL.png For you, nothing. For me, it means a dozen cupcakes from the Commissioner. Aw yeah.

Icon Character Roberto.png I ain't going to jail, fuzz! You'll have to kill me first.

Icon Character URL.png Yeah, I was planning on doing that.

Icon Character Roberto.png Aw, please, spare me! I got a wife and child at home I haven't stabbed yet!

Icon Character URL.png Oh, I ain't fallin' for that.

Icon Character Roberto.png It's true! I swear on my stabbed mother's grave!

Icon Character URL.png [SIGH] Okay, look, give me their name and address, and after I kill you and take you downtown, I'll go stab 'em myself.

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