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Dungeons and Flagons
Dungeons and Flagons.png
Story type
Character Goal
Cornwood Ascending

Dungeons and Flagons is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the personal goal of Titanius Anglesmith, an unlockable character available during the Cornwood Ascending event, Act 1.

Part 1


Titanius kicks off Cornwood's Ale Fest.



  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP


Titanius Anglesmith Gentlemen, don your drinking helmets. I hereby declare the first annual Cornwood Ale Fest officially underway!

Titanius Anglesmith There are horns of ale to slam, gnomes to toss, and life savings to be gambled away!

Great Wizard Greyfarn But who will compete in these games? And who shall be the judge?

Titanius Anglesmith All shall compete, against me! Except the gnomes, obviously. And I shall be both competitor and judge.

Titanius Anglesmith I predict a remarkable medal sweep by a certain fancy man.

Titanius Anglesmith To get this festival going, we shall start with a lively karaoke tournament!

Leegola Leading off with karaoke, huh? Bold move, fancy man.

Titanius Anglesmith Not as bold as it may seem. For you see, I'm certain to win. I'm 40% karaoke machine!

Leegola Isn't it usually the karaoke singer who gets judged, not the karaoke machine?

Titanius Anglesmith [...]

Titanius Anglesmith The karaoke tournament is hereby cancelled!

Part 2


Titanius organizes an ale pong competition.



  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP


Titanius Anglesmith All right, Greyfarn, prepare yourself for ale pong! Fill those flagons to the brim! For drinking, my friend, is the reward for landing your pong in a flagon!

Great Wizard Greyfarn Are we allowed to use magic to land our pongs?

Titanius Anglesmith Yes -- the magic of mechanics, kinematics, and computational physics! Coincidentally, as a machine, those things come naturally to me. Ha!

Great Wizard Greyfarn Coincidentally, as a genius, they come naturally to me too. It's on, fancy man.

Titanius Anglesmith Good lord, Greyfarn, you're an ale pong wizard! There has to be a twist!

Great Wizard Greyfarn No twist my friend, my friend. Just decades enrolled at Cornwood U, studying by day and drinking by night.

Titanius Anglesmith Strange. I too was a student at Cornwood U.

Titanius Anglesmith However, I never realised anybody did anything during the day.

Part 3


Titanius wraps up Cornwood's Ale Fest.



  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP


Titanius Anglesmith Next shall we test our drunken aim with a gnome toss. Players, grab your gnomes! First to get five gnomes in the barrel wins a flagon of ale!

Hermafroditee I find this contest exceptionally cruel. Not to mention degrading.

Titanius Anglesmith No one finds grabbing a gnome more degrading than I...

Titanius Anglesmith ...but you only have to hold them for a second before you can fling 'em.

Titanius Anglesmith And to bring the Cornwood Ale Fest to a close, I summon the Great Wizard Greyfarn to the barrel. Show these rustic oafs how one perfoms a proper keg stand!

Great Wizard Greyfarn May I use magic?

Titanius Anglesmith I shall permit it, old wizard.

Great Wizard Greyfarn Good. For if I do a keg stand, only the power of magic can save onlookers from the horror of seeing my knickers.

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