The Sandman Will Keep You Awake - The Loop

Calculon Revisited
Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png
Story type
Character Goal
Robot Hell On Earth

Calculon Revisited is one of the character goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1


Ghost Calculon appears.




Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png It is I, the Ghost of Calculon 2.0!

Icon Character Bender.png Calculon 2.0? But we're already on Calculon 3.0. What's the difference?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png My version has the best dramatic pauses, but it takes me a minute longer to boot up.

Icon Character Bender.png I don't have time to wait! I want my dramatic pauses NOW!

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png My apologies, Bender. Sometimes I get trapped in this bottle. It's a part of my curse.

Icon Character Bender.png Cursed? What happened? Did you get bitten by a were-car or a vamp-iron or something?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Nothing so mundane. I agreed to do a commercial for a payday loans company.

Part 2


Ghost Calculon harasses the living.


  • Have URL Write Some Tickets (2h)
  • Have Ghost Calculon Scare the Patrons (8h 0m 0s)
  • Get Ghost Calculon Up To Level 10



Icon Character URL.png We're getting reports that you're harassing people with your performances.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png It's not harassment if they're enjoying it!

Icon Character URL.png They ain't enjoying it, man. Look, you're convincing as Hamlet's father's ghost, but that's mainly 'cause you're an actual ghost. It's creepy!

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png You want a live person to play a ghost? "Hamlet" is not a minstrel show!

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Fine! I'll take my acting elsewhere!

Icon Character URL.png Why don't you try an actual theater stage?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Because I don't have an Actor's Union card.

Icon Character URL.png They don't take ghosts?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Not if they're several years behind with their dues, they don't

Part 3


Ghost Calculon harasses the living.


  • Have Bender Run Some Lines (4h)
  • Have Ghost Calculon Sword Fight (1h 0m 0s)
  • Have Fry Record Himself (3h 0m 0s)
  • Get Ghost Calculon Up To Level 10



Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png I've been working on my audition piece. Would you mind directing me?

Icon Character Bender.png Okay, but I warn you: I've directed a lot of community theater, and people say I'm pretty demanding.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Oh, I'm not sensitive about taking notes. Let's begin. "To be or not to be--"

Icon Character Bender.png Stop! I can't work under these conditions! Show more emotion and give me all your money!

Icon Character Bender.png This isn't working out. You're not taking any of my notes.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Your notes are amateurish. I need a director who knows how to work with ghosts.

Icon Character Bender.png And I need a ghost who knows how to take orders from the living!

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png [...]

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png I don't think you understand the concept of "ghosts" very well.

Part 4


Ghost Calculon clears the air.




Icon Character Scruffy.png Aren't you supposed to be dead, Mr. Calculon?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png I am dead! Can't you tell just by looking at me?

Icon Character Scruffy.png Scruffy ain't got the best eyesight.

Icon Character Scruffy.png I normally distinguish the living from the dead by smell. It's more accurate and more fun.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Has anyone ever told you that your face is perfect for the screen, Scruffy?

Icon Character Scruffy.png Nope.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Well, it is. Your forlorn eyes say more than words ever could.

Icon Character Scruffy.png Mm-hm.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png I stand corrected!

Part 5


Ghost Calculon meets his match.




Icon Character Calculon.png What may this mean that thou, dead corse, again in complete steel, revisit'st thus the glimpses of the moon?

Icon Character Calculon.png What I mean is, who the hell are you?

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png I'm an earlier version of yourself -- back from the dead and ready to audition for the same roles as you!

Icon Character Calculon.png Pfft. My release includes a hardware upgrade with all the latest emotions, so good luck out-acting me!

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png Oh... Well, do you need a stunt double? I'm dead, so I'm willing to do really dangerous stuff...

Icon Character Calculon.png I must admit, your acting is brilliant.

Icon Outfit Ghost Calculon.png As is yours. I wish you luck. And please -- don't make the same mistakes I have.

Icon Character Calculon.png Well, I'm still alive, so it looks like I already avoided the big one.

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