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Bitter Ramblings
Goal Ramblin' Rodriguez.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Quick Draw
Previous Goal
Let's Get Ready to Ramble


Part 1

Description[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez performs at an open mic.

Objectives

Rewards[]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez I'm performing at an open mic tonight.

The Professor So what!

Ramblin' Rodriguez That's my way of saying, "You're invited."

The Professor And "So what" is my way of saying "Unless you can score me a plus-one, forget it!"


Fry Ugh! That was the most depressing song I ever heard. And I used to follow The Cure around on tour!

Ramblin' Rodriguez Too bad, 'cause I'm just getting started.

Ramblin' Rodriguez My next song is called "A List of People Who Never Said I Was Great".

Ramblin' Rodriguez Part 12

Ramblin' Rodriguez Amy, Hermes, that guy at the bus stop / Free Waterfall Jr. and URL the Robocop...


Part 2

Description[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez performs at an open mic.

Objectives

  • Have Amy Use a Record Player (4h)

Rewards[]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[]

Fry Bender, you gotta stop singin' the blues before you make everyone depressed.

Ramblin' Rodriguez Oh yeah? Well, maybe people need to be more depressed!

Ramblin' Rodriguez I'm speaking as a man who owns a lot of stock in the company that makes suicide booths.


Ramblin' Rodriguez How dare you interrupt my performance?! I will not be silenced!

Fry Geez. I was only trying to help.

Ramblin' Rodriguez You can help by promoting my new album.

Fry But you don't have a new album.

Ramblin' Rodriguez You obviously don't understand how the music business works.


Part 3

Description[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez eases the pain.

Objectives

Rewards[]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez There's only one way for a blues singer to ease his pain.

Amy I thought singing the blues was supposed to ease your pain.

Ramblin' Rodriguez Oh yeah... I guess there's that.

Ramblin' Rodriguez The way I was thinking of was shacking up with nameless floozies.


Ramblin' Rodriguez Alas, the floozies did not help.

Amy They helped me. You stopped singing for a moment.

Ramblin' Rodriguez That was a mistake. But I'm back, with a new song bemoaning the low quality of today's floozies.

Ramblin' Rodriguez Well, how many floozies must a man sex up...


Part 4

Description[]

Ramblin' Rodriguez feels better.

Objectives

Rewards[]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[]

Amy You know, if you want to stop feeling depressed, you could try getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and drinking water instead of booze.

Ramblin' Rodriguez You're just a corporate stooge for Big Sleep, Big Health, and Big Water! Well, I'm not gonna get conned by their propaganda!

Amy Come on, Bender, you chain-smoke cigars. Doesn't that make you a stooge for Big Tobacco?

Ramblin' Rodriguez No! Big Tobacco's propaganda goes down smooth, with no side effects!


Ramblin' Rodriguez Amy, I am happy to say I no longer need to sing, because I've cured my depression. You'll recall it was originally caused by nobody listening to my complaints.

Ramblin' Rodriguez But, thanks to a grueling schedule of nonstop walking around with a guitar and blues-singing, people now pay attention to my every word!

Amy I'm sorry, what? I've gotten so used to your blues-singing, I've sort of started tuning you out.

Ramblin' Rodriguez [...]

Ramblin' Rodriguez Well, Amy was a moron so I swore I'd shoot her dead...


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