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A Duel Between Fools
Goal A Duel Between Fools.png
Story type
Main Goal
Quick Draw

A Duel Between Fools is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1


The Borax Kid appears.



  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP


Borax Kid Howdy, folks! Mind if an old friend pleads pathetically for help?

Fry Hey, everyone, it's the Borax Kid! But why would a debonair pile of minereals like you need MY help?

Borax Kid Well, sir, I'm the proprietor of Boronburg, a small borate-mining town on the Moon. Or I was, 'til a gang of robots moved in and took over.

Fry I'll help however I can. Nobody cares more about boron than me.

Borax Kid I'm pretty sure I do.

Borax Kid I warn you, Fry, this gang is tough. Their leader's a robot named Clamps -- a vicious killer who rarely treats ladies with the respect they deserve.

Fry Clamps?! Uh-oh. One time he nearly mangled me and my coworkers! And I'm probably forgetting some other times!

Borax Kid He's vicious, all right. The day he rode into Boronburg, he walked into the saloon and clamped the sheriff!

Borax Kid But he did not clamp the deputy.

Borax Kid Then, however, he did!

Part 2


The Borax Kid explains his town's tradition.


  • Learn about Dueling
  • Complete the Gunslinger Mission


  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP


Fry Hang on, Kid. Remember you used your power to control matter and energy to get me my genitals back that one time? Can't you get rid of the outlaws that way?

Borax Kid Nope. The good folks of Boronburg don't much cotton to my tinkerin' with reality. They want Clamps taken out in a duel.

Fry Okay, so challenge him to a duel!

Borax Kid See how my hand shakes? Hard living's givin me the gallium trembles. I can't even aim a TV remote, let alone a gun.

Fry Then how do you defend yourself? I mean from bad TV?

The Professor What danger have you gotten me into this time, Fry?

Fry The Borax Kid needs our help. We have to defeat a gang of outlaws in a duel!

The Professor The Borax Kid? Why didn't you say so? He's the reason I still have my genitals!

The Professor I haven't used them in years, but I appreciate having them back where they belong.

Part 3


The crew looks for the Moon Farmer.


  • Build T.G.I. Folky's (4h)
  • Get 5 Tombstones from Space
  • Have the Crew Cast Bullets 3 times


  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP


Borax Kid Bad news, Fry. The Moon Farmer's joined forces with that outlaw gang.

Fry Why would he do that?

Borax Kid Seems Clamps and his daughter The Crushinator are now engaged.

Fry Sounds like a match made in clamping, crushing heaven!

Fry By which I mean central Georgia.

Fry I'm scared about this duel with Clamps, Hermes. What if a bullet shatters my spine?

Hermes The only form of duelling I'm familiar with is the good old-fashioned Caribbean limbo contest.

Fry I can see if Clamps will go for that...

Hermes Dear God, no! You'd CERTAINLY shatter your spine!

Part 4


The Professor does some research.



  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP


The Professor So, this town of yours -- I imagine it's completely dependent on boron mining.

Borax Kid No sir! Boron won't be popular forever, and we don't aim to end up a ghost town like Fidget-Spinner Falls. We got all kinds of non-boron tourist attractions.

The Professor Let me guess: a craft festival, an escape room, a ghost tour, and five chocolate shops.

Borax Kid Five?... Of course -- five! You're a genius, Professor! Much obliged.

Bender I don't appreciate you asking my friends to risk their necks for your stupid town.

Borax Kid Well, sir, we got a sayin' in the borax game: "You can't do the laundry without dissolvin' some detergent."

Borax Kid It's a metaphor in which laundry represents corruption and detergent dissolvin' represents people dying. Poetic, ain't it?

Bender But they're my friends! How will I get by if they die?

Bender You can only rob a corpse once!

Part 5


Ramblin' Rodriguez denounces the violence.



  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP


Fry Bender? Why are you dressed like that?

Ramblin' Rodriguez The name's Ramblin' Rodriguez, and I'm here to protest all the recent violence by singing a folksong I haven't written yet.

Ramblin' Rodriguez Well, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace is good--

Fry Wait, Ramblin'! Please -- finish writing the song first before you sing it for me!

Ramblin' Rodriguez But you might be dead by then!

Fry I sure hope so.

Borax Kid Well, Fry, it's high noon in Boronburg. Time to face Clamps.

Fry Why do duels always have to take place at high noon anyhow?

Borax Kid So's your Stetson'll cast a nice dramatic shadow over your face.

Fry But I don't have a Stetson!

Borax Kid You don't have much of a face either. Or a talent for dueling, for that matter. But it's too late to worry about that now.

Part 6


Fry faces Clamps.



  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP


Fry If I don't make it out of this duel alive, just know that I'll always be your friend.

Ramblin' Rodriguez And if you die, know that I'll write a song just for you.

Fry Promise me that it'll be good. Or at least that you'll write it before you perform it.

Ramblin' Rodriguez Don't make this harder than it needs to be.

Borax Kid Well done, Fry. You took down Clamps and you lived to tell the tale.

Fry I'm surprised I made it.

Borax Kid The odds against you still existing sure are astronomical. And that's coming from a magical riverboat gambler made of boron.

Borax Kid If I wasn't toxic to all forms of organic life I'd shake your hand.

Part 7


The Borax Kid's town is saved.



  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP


Fry Well, looks like my work here is done.

Borax Kid Thanks to you, Boronburg has been saved. We can continue our transition to a tourism-based economy.

Fry Have you considered advertising your town by sponsoring a popular podcast?

Borax Kid That's a great idea! Ads are the thing people love most about podcasts. Sometimes the only thing!

Fry I thought your town was going to advertise on podcasts, not in prisons.

Borax Kid Convicts are tourists too.

Fry No they're not! They're locked up!

Borax Kid Prison walls have been known to dissolve, my friend. 'Specially when exposed to a certain hydrated form of boron. So farewell! And tell your friends about beautiful Boronburg.

See also[]