Lunar Lunacy

 is one of the missions on The Moon.

"Bender tries to get away on the moon."

End of Mission Enemies

 * Crushinator
 * Moon Farmer

Space Pirates!
Location: Node 6 "Like really pirates, but in space!" A band of space pirates board the ship! They want booty and accept all forms of payment. Completion Rewards:
 * 1) Put up a fight! +6
 * Think of something fast!
 * 1) Open the airlock. That fast enough? (Success: 76%)
 * 2) Try to disarm (and un-hook) them. (Requires Lvl 9: 2, 20)
 * You steal their weapons (and some ill-gotten gains too) then kick them off the ship.
 * 1) Appeal to their alien inhumanity. (Success: 2)
 * Turns out they're pirates with hearts o' gold. They leave you in peace.
 * 1) See if they take lucre. -?
 * You hand over some Nixonbucks. The space pirates leave with a piratey flourish. (ends interaction)
 * 25
 * 15

Backwater Hydroponics
Location: Path C, node 16 Requires Amy "The moon shall rise again." You take a detour to see your favorite Moon Farmer and his robot daughters.

Moon Farmer: The Crushinator done up 'n' run away like some kinda "modern" woman.
 * Choice 1: And leave all this? +6
 * Choice 1: Spleesh! Why? +6
 * Choice 1: Spluh! Why not? +6

Moon Farmer: She dun commit the sin of female financial independence. She got herself a job!
 * Choice 2: Try to change his small mind. (Success: 76%) +20
 * Don't you want her to improve and upgrade herself?
 * She deserves the chance to be devalued by society - not just you!
 * Moon Farmer: Well I'll be. Even though yer a woman yourself, I reckon yer objective.
 * Choice 2: Explain fembot intersectionality. (Requires Lvl 11) +30
 * It's not like it was back in the dark ages of the 2990s. Fembots deserve the freedom to have their dreams trounced, too!
 * Moon Farmer: Well I'll be. Even though yer a woman yourself, I reckon yer objective.
 * Choice 2: Humor him. +6
 * Robot women; you can't function with 'em, you can't function without 'em.
 * Moon Farmer: Dern right! My worldview is secure. Same as it was back when them Apollo fellas was here.

Now, I'm a-giving' ya 'til the counta pi to git off my property afore I shoot. One... Two... Three... Three point one... one... five... nine...

The Designer Life
Location: Fifth node in path A "Someone has a crush on you." You see the Crushinator and she looks worried. Which is odd for an expressionless robot. BOO HOO. NO ONE WANTS MY DESIGNER HANDBAGS. MY DREAMS ARE CRASHING AROUND ME LIKE A WINDOWS PC. AFTER MY LATEST ROMANTIC CATASTROPHE, I DECIDED LIFE WAS TOO SHORT TO IGNORE MY TRUE PASSION... LUXURY HANDBAGS. NO ONE IS BUYING MY BAGS! CAN YOU HELP ME SELL SOME? YOUR HELP IS APPRECIATED. NOW SELL ALL THESE BAGS! Completion Rewards:
 * 1) Comfort her. (6)
 * Don't worry. You can always reboot.
 * 1) Ignore her feelings. (6)
 * Did you say handbags?
 * 1) Cheer her up. (6)
 * You go girlbot!
 * 1) Mock her. (6)
 * Your true passion isn't E-Sudoku?
 * 1) Agree to help. (6)
 * Who could say no to a talking boxcar?
 * 1) Refuse to help. (6)
 * I'll take a pass.
 * COMPLY OR BE CRUSHED!
 * I mean "I'll take as many as I can."
 * 25
 * 15

Accessorizing Tide
Location: Sixth node in path A "It's in the bag."
 * After hours of selling handbags with no luck, you spot a potential customer.
 * A handbag you say? What use do I have for such a monstrosity?

''This I believe. How much?''
 * 1) Lie. (6)
 * They're cobbled locally!
 * 1) Lie harder. (6)
 * They're the latest in moon fashion!
 * 1) Make them feel good.
 * You're in a charitable mood?
 * 1) 30 Nixon Bucks
 * 2) 100 Nixon Bucks (Requires Lvl 9, Success: 6)
 * Cheap at twice the price!
 * 1) 200 Nixon Bucks! (Requires Lvl 9, Success: 6)
 * To this I cannot say no.

Completion Rewards:
 * 1) Take the money to Crushinator. (6)
 * After a hard day's work, you return to the Crushinator.
 * YOU ONLY SOLD ONE BAG?! MY DREAM IS CRUSHED. AS YOU WILL BE.
 * 1) Keep most of the money for yourself. (80 )
 * THIS IS ALL MY PROFIT? I'VE CRUSHED FOR LESS! AND WILL AGAIN!
 * 25
 * 15

Story
The Moon Farmer is shooting at us! Do something! Me? What can I do? Human shield!